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It was kind of a don't ask, don't tell scenario -- aside from those who really flaunted their upbringings, most people were assumed to be on roughly the same privileged page. Part of me was just as excited as she was -- but another part, deeper down, was turned off by the fact that someone had been paid to deliver a luxury car to her on her parents' dime.
That car -- a tiny black stick-shift Audi TT -- came to encapsulate the best and worst parts of our relationship.
I grouped a girl that I loved -- and yes, through all that, I did love her -- with an unattainable concept of wealth and power that was just that: a concept.
I clung to my issues with her money in an ass-backward attempt to mask my own insecurities. But from my experience, when it comes to interpersonal relationships and someone you really care about, those boundaries only exist insofar as you allow them to.
I loved it because we could spend hours in it together, driving around the small town outside the college, going on dates at hick restaurants, and killing time away from the suffocating campus.
I hated it because of the looks I would get from townies when I stepped out of it, people I would often identify with more than my most privileged classmates.
She was the first girl I actually committed to at school, and I was ready for it to be serious. But that was nothing new: we were at a ,000-a-year private college, and I knew many of my friends' families easily paid the full cost of tuition.Later that week, she told me she was glad we were prevented from going through with it. "And he told me 'If you put a hole in your nose, you lose ,000.'" I had three tattoos by then, and before the first my father had threatened to kick me out of the house. That she had a similar challenge and balked when a specific, quantifiable consequence could be issued bothered me to no end.